Becoming boring 

​I am becoming boring. All my conversations inevitably leads to my kids. I lost a few hobbies along the way too. 

From the outside, I might even looked pathetic. I might evoke sympathy walking the hard path of parenting. 

But what does it look like inside?

Do I get mad at myself or my life? Do I lament the loss of my Sunday run or oil painting session?

No. That is my conclusion. I’m not mad. 

One is always happy to talk about things that interest them. They love discussions, comments about their favorite drama, band, celebrity, sports etc. 

Pushing further, my guess is everyone loves to talk about their passion. You have fan clubs, sub-reddits, forums etc. Birds of the same feathers flock together. 

My passion is my kids. They are not just my interest. I really think they are very interesting. Much more than I think of myself.

That is why I’m becoming boring. To you. But if we share the same passion, I won’t be. It’s the same for everyone. Boring…

Parenthood achievement unlocked!

I guess you don’t get to be a real parent if you didn’t endure the halls of a children hospital, waiting for the doctor to see what has happened to your sick child.

I think I got this achievement unlocked. I learned a few new diseases name. Like bronchiolitis and pertussis. The latter is a infectious disease commonly known as whooping cough and is a pain in the ass, no lungs actually.

I guess my reaction to this is usually just take it one step at a time and put my trust in the healthcare givers. So far, KKH is doing ok in my book.

The other problem is my child has to be quarantined at home. So, no school and work. This is the not so obvious side effect of parenthood on one’s career.

The government wonders why people don’t have more babies.

I think I just found one big reason for that.

Addiction

Addiction. It’s not a real addiction if you don’t realised it.

The thing about addiction is that you can’t help it even though you are aware.

I can count a number of times where I know I’m addicted to something. It’s quite interesting to note that when an addiction kicks in, I am actually very aware of it and actively hide it.

I guess this is very common as addiction is often associated with weakness and illness.

I wonder what causes addiction and does it have any relation to depression.

Is it possible that addiction is just a more enlightened term for being bewitched? Or enchanted?

A state of mind where you knowingly submit temptation even though you know you should fight it.

How do you fight it? I can analyse it, dissect it and come out with all sorts of rationales for it. But that’s not it. That’s just answer some questions:

Is it harmful to my body?
How long can it last?
Will it cause any damage to my live?

Being aware of an addiction can either make it more powerful to fight against, or afford me a chance to gain some control.

If the addiction not too lethal, I usually just indulge in it discreetly until it passes. I believe all enchantment spells has a duration. The power it has over you cannot last forever. I hope I’m right.

And that’s my sorry excuse for binge watching soppy Korean dramas.

Learning to accept average

I am average and most likely will be.

It’s unlikely (not impossible) that I will go on to change the world in a heroic epic manner.

But then how many of us could?

Looking at the world that passes me by, it seems I am just a rabbit in a Kung-fu panda world.

This makes me feel small, when you tried to fit yourself in such a big world.

Do I strive to be a giant? A giant can seems small in a big giant world too.

Epicness, giantness are all relative. It’s all about perspective. I might not change history of the world. But I might change a person life. And that will mean a giant lot in their world.

It seems like the real question is not that do I strive to be a giant, but rather who do you want to be a giant for.

My plate is full

I was recently reminded of a saying that as one grows older, time seems to pass faster.

I think one of the reason is that as we age, we accumulated more things on our plate.

Everywhere i turn, I see advices, exhortations or inspirations encouraging me to add more things to my plate.

Learn a new thing. Upgrading yourself is never wrong. Coding will conquer the world!

Listen to this advice from an experienced writer. Parenting done right is of the utmost importance. What responsibility you have!

Create art, write your story, build something, go after your passion. Go go go!

My plate is filled with good things. Responsibilities, commitments, determinations.

But my plate is full. I don’t want it cleared. But it’s full.

I’m a sucker for the Descendants of the Sun

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My first Korean drama and I chose one of the best to get into it. A middle age guy liking this cute romance drama. I guess I’m not exactly the target demographic. But man, this is good!

My impression of kdramas are not good. Long, draggy, everyone cries too much and evil mother in laws. I thought most kdramas are like either like soap opera or people backstabbing one another in palace settings.

Well, I was wrong. My first impression of DOTS is it reminded me of the Japanese drama that I liked. Great production, beautiful shots and always left me feeling a mixed of poignant and positivity.

One thing that stands out for The Descendants of the Sun is the soundtrack. Music to me is very important as it adds a lot to a story. The music of DOTS is absolutely fantastic and is one of the defining feature when watching the series.

Long time ago, I had a thing for soppy Japanese drama and looking back, I think one of the reason they got me is the music too. That as well as their short format (12 episodes for jdrama). There is no long drawn beating around the bush and instead focus on building up the characters and their emotions.

With good musc, concise writing and a good blend of seriousness, soppiness, humour (big fan of this), romance. That for me makes a good story.

I think sometimes I’m afraid of going into a good story is the world that they created are so powerful that the withdrawal is always hard. Maybe that’s why I can rewatch a drama multiple times and play a game for a few years. I enjoy my stories like my tea, in small sips, savouring the flavours and hoping foolishly it won’t end (yet don’t want it to drag pointlessly).

When it all ends, a happy ending is a must for me. I read/watch/listen to stories as a form of escapism. I don’t need to feel shitty when the story ends. Give me a happy ending anytime. You an twist all you want, but give me my happy closure. I think the writers of DOTS agreed.

Drama series are a big time sink. As I “grow up”, I steered clear of series as I know one might come along and sucker me in.

And now I’m in one. Damn it.

 

 

 

I like wearables

I have a Pebble time steel on my left hand. And a fitbit charge hr on my right.

The reason for the fitbit is heart rate monitor. And the fitness tracking is much better, but that’s another story. That’s my motivation in wearing the fitbit. I need it to do something for me. The motivation is functional.

My Pebble made me wear the fitbit because it is lacking. However, I realised my motivation for wearing the Pebble is that I enjoy it. Though it may be lacking, I like wearing it. I like admiring it.

I think that’s what made my Pebble special. Pebble has a special kind of goofy charm that appeals to me. Even with the time steel aspirations of being more fashionable, the Pebble appeals to me at a level different from functions.

Maybe because it is the underdog now in the face of behemoths. Maybe it was because it blazed the smart watch trail.

I like my Pebble.

Hello world! Most likely we won’t see each other

Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start writing!

The first post of my blog. I asked myself why did I want to start writing here. Many thoughts came to mind.

I understand this blog is going to be unseen, but there is a chance for it to be seen. I guess that’s interesting to me. There must be countless blogs out there who are the same.

Most ordinary!